“I was against the construction of tennis courts in the park as I thought they would cause too much racket.”
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
A hungry traveler stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips. 'Are you the friar?' he asks. 'No. I'm the chip monk,' he replies.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.
Why was the ink drop sad? Because her dad was in the pen and she didn't know how long the sentence would be!
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
When the TV repairman got married the reception was excellent.
The cannibal's cookbook titled 'How to Better Serve your Fellow Man' was written by a guy who had a wife and ate kids.
We were so poor when I was growing up we couldn't even afford to pay attention.
Those who throw dirt are sure to lose ground.
It wasn't school Melanie disliked it was just the principal of it.
I'll get more later, but that might not be for a while. Hee hee. Hope ya like them again!