More Jokes ;)

Whelp, here's more jokes fer ya.

“I was against the construction of tennis courts in the park as I thought they would cause too much racket.”

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

A hungry traveler stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips. 'Are you the friar?' he asks. 'No. I'm the chip monk,' he replies. 

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.

Why was the ink drop sad? Because her dad was in the pen and she didn't know how long the sentence would be!

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).

When the TV repairman got married the reception was excellent.

The cannibal's cookbook titled 'How to Better Serve your Fellow Man' was written by a guy who had a wife and ate kids.

We were so poor when I was growing up we couldn't even afford to pay attention.

Those who throw dirt are sure to lose ground.

It wasn't school Melanie disliked it was just the principal of it. 

I'll get more later, but that might not be for a while. Hee hee. Hope ya like them again!

Jokes... For the FIRST TIME ON MY BLOG!!!

I can't believe it. My family is OH SO GOOD at saying jokes.... And I haven't posted any????? Impossible!!! Here, right now, presenting.... *fanfare* Du du du du du duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!! some jokes! Enjoy!

Cartoonist found dead in home... details are sketchy.

Did you hear about the short fortuneteller who escaped prison? He is now a small medium at large. 

Did you hear about the dog who gave birth by the side of the road? She was cited for littering. 

A blonde police woman pulls over a blonde and says, "Ma'am, you were speeding. May I see your driver's license?"

Flustered, the blonde reaches into her purse and accidentally picks up a hand-mirror and hands it over. The cop looks into the mirror and says, "Oh, I didn't realize you were a police officer. Have a nice day!"

Who was the first person mentioned in the Bible? Chap. 1

When was pork first mentioned in the Bible? When Ham entered the Ark

When was money first mentioned in the Bible? When the dove brought Noah the greenback

Who shared the first date? Adam and Eve

Which three people in the Bible had no parents? Adam, Eve, and Joshua, the son of Nun

A man loses his dog in the woods. How did he find him? By listening to the bark in the trees

How far into the woods can you go? Halfway

What did the pirate say when it was cold outside and he was chopping down a tree? Shiver me timbers! 

How much does a pirate pay to get his ear pierced? A buck-an-ear

Some dead batteries were given out free of charge.

One guy told a second guy that he had a lilac bush six feet tall. What did the second guy say? "I wish I could lie like you." 

Why did the pope cross the road? Because the pope crosses everything!

A cow was sold for some extra moolah. 

Okay, I don't want to run out of jokes (like THAT"S possible!), so I'll write more later. Hope you enjoyed them!

We're Back!!!

The reason I haven't posted for a couple days was.... We went to my sister Melissa's house! My brother-in-law said that she was giddy all day long on the day we were coming. We and Sissa were very excited on seeing each other. We went on the roof of the place they were staying at!  The sight was awesome, and we really enjoyed being there. They had a firehouse that looked like old times. It was AMAZING!! My little brother kept BEGGING to go on the roof all morning one time, so finally Christie took us there. Not more then 2 minutes passed, and he wanted to go back! She stayed longer anyway. ;) Hope everyone has a good weekend!!